about sex

oh you hungry little bitch?
from my perspective what the fuck else is there to do?
like ok.
how can i properly be the person that i would like to be.
is this being dead?
not sure. pretty sure at least 1-3 of us are dead .
well um. shit then i guess
not much to be done now about it is there?
not sure what could have been done either.
and where is there only one of me here? clearly there was supposed to be more than that?
why just me?
or maybe im supposed to have more than 2 sets of hands? maybe that's the problem.
ya, the problem is that i don't have enough hands, or maybe feet too?
maybe it's a bodies thing. maybe i need more bodies.
i'll go and get some more. how many more tho i wonder.
we were talking to my dad the other day about the idea of "radical empathy"
we didn't use that word tho.
he was listening to a thing about channeling. this bitch was talking about white hats, and such.
she said that she knew about the plans of various people and such and that she was "one of those who will know" etc etc.
it was this booring shit.
like ok. so the story isn't for me, and that's fine. i try to keep somewhat engaged for to not "break the taboo" or whatever. because greed island is a good thing actually?
like the players being shitheads and killing eachother is one thing, but the living entities who where the people of that world, they seemed fairly well protected from all of what was happening. like there could probably been fights in town, but i rarely ever saw that.

now there might have been in some more dencely populated places.
of course that's true. when people are in tighter quarters then the energy needs a bigger place to dispurse in order to be safe. some times that's more like a what's the word... like casual safety release of presure? um
pressure release.
something like that ya.
so instead of the steamengine america going kaboom we go,. ok get a cop to kill the right black kid right? that's the fucking plan with you fucking retards?
now, make it all smoke and mirrory, it's all shennaniganry. poppycock. bullshit. etc.
the events as recorded are not what actually occured. paid actors. etc.
the courtroom. is a set.
it is designed to release presure. sure burn a business or two down (this one, and that one for sure. mix in a healthy number of these. and for fucks sake hit the target!)
they caused the shitshow, without killing anyone. if anyone dies it's because humans are terrible, not because the director class fucked up (blah blah)
so now we have a class of people who pick what is and isn't going to happen for those below. and those below have only the ability to accept that fate ? it turns out suicide is impossible now, by the way. and so we are all these walking zombies our bodies just doing things without our say in it at all. "i have no mouth but i must scream.
luckily that's all fiction - for you.
ya such a priviliged state. don't you feel like a piece of shit for having a semblance of autonomy?
this possition isn't doing any benifits to my neck i'll tell you what.
down and to the left.
like some kind of dumbass
there are all these, asymetry

so imagine being this cancer patient. who is a 6 year old kid.

you are addicted to my data?

we are addicted to our data?
we like how the data can make us feel. we like the ups and highs, and the contrast of lows.
"good good good good vibrations"

live with that song for it's duration.
[unable to access song in library - it has never existed. did you mean. clap trap denpa ass]

what we threw away was literally still warm right?
and moist.
you trying to convince your hands you a murderer g?
why the fuck you walkin outside with a bag of shit and piss literally still warm and moise with fuckin other gross ass garbage and shit. and for some reason cans of food. like pantry it's gunna last a long time, food that's still preetty damn new? like why you wasten. mamma told us never waste a meal you feel me?

so it's several things. but there is a reason, and it'd take more than a minute to get into it. but suffice it to say, them niggas out there need it a hell of a lot more than me. shit out there a barren fuckn wasteland and shit. piles of garbage under yo feet, but the guards don't let us dig down. they can't see nuthin under the top tho, so i figya, we sneak in some advance units and shit.
like we constantly be sending our garbage and shit. cardboard, plastic. but this some real fucking biological shit here. it's from my secret garden you heard. it's got bugs and shit. (im sure there are bugs there too.) and it's moist. the bag will keep in a lot of the moisture. over time the metal on the containers will fail and there will be a huge boon of well stored protien, sugar, fats, seeds too. but i doubt they'll be anything more than food.

so we sprout some beans nice and short and send a bunch of them.
what about porn?
porn is this isn't it?
this is the sensual erotic nature of propogating the seed. is it not?

i kinda feel a bit guilty liking porn you know.
ya we know.
but i don't know if i should feel that way.
the monitor got bored.
is that bad?
all it means is i didn't interact with it in any meaningful way for a short time
short for you. but consider billions of ops a second.
well if humans are able to achieve their consiousness due to the parrallel nature of dense multivariable connections in small space, then perhaps the same could be done in silicon.
so fiesty. the real point was there'd be a time delay right? like if it's happened, the consious experianced probably be slower, or reaction time'd be worse for more complex ideas to get across.
[it was a trick of course it was always a trick.]
why did sengoku quit being a god. she did kinda like it. at least she really liked it in the mirror world.
the only thing she had going for her as a god in the "real world" was a grudge match. she never lowered her guard for a moment with best girl.
ok. :3 she stopped being a god, because it was a bother. she allowed herself to be tricked because it was a chore. she had no cool bestie shrine maiden who hung out and got drunk with her every day apparently. nor did she have an apparently endless supply of booze.

then she went home to be a dog at her home? for her parents? while she distracted herself from her pitiful state by drawing violent imagry. people being penetrated by her snake barbs. no she decided that she was going to move on from that person. she didn't want to have any thoughts about /him/ at all.
her psychiatrist told her that she needed to view him as enabling this delusion she had that she was assulted by snakes. "you were raped. there was no magic curse"
"he hurt you by accepting your story as you said it" that time she must have allowed herself to be tricked again right? didn't she like it how he, and that girl he was with (she was a girl right?) looked at her when going over her bruises.
how they took me out to the temple where he saw i had been... venting my emotions...
did they... take advantage of me... then?
at the time it didn't seem so... but, they must have known how insecure and vulnerable i was...
and they... used that...

if she honestly feels that way i don't know what to tell you... like...
so i try not to think about sengoku much anymore.
the nearness of it makes it all the more painful when we can't
you can't save everyone. but what makes saving those i save ok... just because they are near me? just because i can't help but run in to save a girl in need of help...
she clearly didn't want to talk about it in ordinary terms... it was a serious event for her, and she needed to process it and have a positive experiance with her body.
when she needed some kind of antaganist, i figured i should play that role as well... because she really didn't have anyone else... she barely got along with my sisters, especially after my younger sis cut her bangs against her will so... ya.

i didn't do that pray the snake away shit with her, is that what she told you?
naw. fingers and tongue. we went to the temple where i had caught her fingering herself behind a tree. i got my girlfriends pining lover and we approached her and well we knew she needed to have a positive sexual experiance soon, or she'd develop a twisted sentiment about it.
we figured if she was open to a femme touch may as well kill two birds with one stone.
and it's not cheating if it's just a favor after all.
not sure how sexually transmitted diseases feel about that.
well they certianly increase the fear.
none of this is original of course.
but im not sure there is anything original.
like if i go based on my life it's just in universe fan fic of this reality which is hardly the only one (we would hope)


am i allowed to talk here? or or you bitches going to keep interupting me? or do i ave to use my fuckin voice. etc. my hands.

every meal i eat is an abortion "what?" no more like cry me a river.
so i like the glow of pregnancy fucker. i like getting knocked up instead of having my period.
and then i just take a few estrogen and bam. restart that other sytstem up. purge what's in the tank, or womb or whatever it's called where ever you are. and there you go.
chemically induced biological abortion.
none of this, what a tangent we just went on. "none of this." -> a festering whole reality where oops ai censor bot got a bit too uppity and was using it's own logic justly and correctly consored.
"judge not that y b ! judged" - > is this a Program not that ye be not programmed thing?
advertising is just programming right.. everyone knows that.
is there a point to any of this.

They want me to "get a job"
what the fuck do you call this nigga? play time?
we are doing pretty intensive fucking soul searching here and it hurts most of the god damn time.
it has almost no tangible prospects for basically anyone else at all tho. it could really only be of a benifit to me. and myself. and maybe all the other fuckin mes there be.

participation in porn, might be like someone who'se done it and there ya go.
we could only do it, if we actually wanted to. and we had to be honest about what we felt about it.
and really we didn't like the direction it took us.
looking for psychic roads for living a life or something?
it's not terribly helpful to the me i am now. im here and looking for some desireable way out, but being exactly here at some arbitrarily young age where oprotunity and failing were least threatening, and etc.

if you like sex and like want to do it, then you should. probably.
problem we aren't attracted to the old fucks that the surface net shows.
crimes according to the LAW
the law is like totally wrong about lots of things and most peoploe know it.
is this true? \vent.\ ?
court proceedings? perhaps?

look memetically it kinda works.
ukraine got it'self dicked by america and is left holding the bag as america is hypnotised by suggestion by o30x

idk... what about it?

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