what's wrong yuki? now that we're together alone you are getting cold feet?
these futons are really hard. cyber said afer laying lir's out and speading lirself out on it.
"oh?" yuki hadn't layed her's out yet so she ploped down on cyber's next to lir.
"it's about like what i was sleeping on before. actually maybe a bit softer." yuki mused.
"i always had a nice soft mattress... this is all for real right?" cyber was very close to yuki. lal placed lir hand on the smaller girls face, touching her cheek then running lir hand though yuki's hair. yuki's face reddened, and she rolled over and got up, turning away from her friend.
"um, yes it seems that way." she said going to gather her own futon to lay it out.
"what's wrong yuki? now that we're together alone you are getting cold feet? i thought you liked me." cyber said the words feeling rejected. They had been close for some time. chatting in DMs talking about many things, sometimes even sexual things. yuki had expressed that she had wanted to be able to do more with cyber in those chats many times, so why was she being cold?
"yuki..." cyber pleaded for lir friend to open up about what she was feeling.
"im sorry. this is all a lot... i do like you. like like you... i just feel somewhat strange about it." yuki had not given thought about hhow this would effect their relationship. She had never thought it would be possible for the two of them to be together in any real way, so to her the game they had been playing was rather harmless. but now that they were alone in the same room. now that she could feel the gentle touch of cyber's hand on her face, all she could think about was how much of a taboo it would be.
Yuki had been born at least 15 years before cyber. she had lived a whole life, been married, had a child, worked several jobs. she had done everything her society expected from a human adult. cyber on the other hand had been in middle school, lal had little to no life experiance comparativly. the thought came with shame.
she heard cyber get up and aproach the small girl from behind. she felt lir larger frame hug her.
"if you don't want to talk about it then that's fine. if this is just a dream i want it to be a good one, and if it's real... i don't want to have any regrets. " cyber let go of yuki. "im going to go get some air, and walk around. give you some time to think about what you want... " cyber left the room and yuki alone in it.
cyber was being fairly understanding. yuki had thought that lal would have been more forceful with her.
cyber exiting the room exhaled sharply small tears wetting lir eyelashes. isn't this everything yuki had wanted? lal thought that if they could only be near eachother they would have been able to get through to eachother, solved the problems they each faced. Yuki's new form on top of that, it was exactly as if cyber's own thought's had come to life. lal hadn't cared before that yuki's body was somewhat misaligned, or that she was older. time was bullshit anyway. here they didn't need to worry about that anyway. lal walked down the hall towards the nearest exit into the open air, when lal met yolo coming in.
"hi cyber." noticing the tears still in lir eyes... "uh, wanna talk about something?" yolo had just come from the hot springs that were on the shrine grounds and was still warm with the heat from the waters. his hair damp and untied and wearing a light robe. "sure i guess." they entered yolo's room which was just back up the hallway a short ways.
"something happen with yuki?" yolo offered. "am i so obvious?"
"both of you are" he said getting dressed. cyber sat down on one of the cushions next to a short table and layed lir head on it, watching yolo.
"what do you think about all of this?"
"well it really is something. you said it yourself. it's like a fairy tail. we still have yet to see if that will be a good thing or not, but right now, it's like an amazing vacation."
"ya it really is. i never imagined things could turn out so perfectly" cyber said with a bit of disappointment edging lir voice.
"but" yolo prompted lir
"but... maybe i pushed things too fast already with yuki..." lal lamented.
"haha, already? what did you pin her down and tell her you were going to take her first time already?"
"don't be mean" cyber grumbled grabing another cushion and throwing it at yolo.
"so what was it then?" he answered, swatting the pillow away with more reflex and force than he had intended, sending it flying the other way. "woops" he added as it hit the wall hard.
"we were talking and she lied down. i touched her face and she got all weird and got up and didn't want to say anything." cyber explained.
"oh. so you feel rejected from that." yolo had some experiance with relationships, which he was not quite sure cyber shared.
"i mean, we have been talking a long time, and i just thought that the only reason we hadn't gotten together by now was because we lived in different countries. there was no way we could see eachother." cyber continued lir explaination.
yolo thought for a minute. he had suspected that they may have had those kinds of feelings, but never really let himself accept it. he didn't want to be copable, or take moral responsability. Yuki was older than he was, by over a decade and she wasn't stupid. more than that she had some deep conservative baggage that it seemed she never fully processed. to be honest it didn't surprise him.
"i don't know what she is thinking. but untill today, i don't know if she ever considered the possibility of being anything more than just internet playmates or.. " he hessitated.. "lovers i guess?"
"you doubt how i feel too..." cyber breathed.
"oh, no it's not how you feel i question. it's always been how yuki feels. im sure you care deeply for her. how do i say it..." yolo didn't want to just come out and say "it's because she thinks you are too young " or something. that didn't feel right anyway. "maybe it's like she feels like she might have taken advantage of you or your naievity"
cyber hit the table hard. "stupid." she cursed hitting the table again and again. "does she really think that? does she see me like some stupid little girl she could just toy with and manipulate into being her play thing and throw away when she was done with me?! you think that?!" cyber was upset tears running down her face. "well if that's what it is then maybe this is all for the better. break my heart and be done with it.... why get stuck here in this stupid world then?"
yolo had never seen cyber in this light and didn't know how to handle it.
"um sorry. i didn't say that... i don't think she sees you as a little girl..." as he said the words he knew he meant them. yuki had never acted as if he saw cyber as anything other than "cyber". cyber had never been a "little girl" to him or to yuki. he was bringing his own interpretation into this and he didn't know if any part of it was comparable to what yuki thought.
just then the door slammed open and yuki was there, breathing heavy clothing disheveled and hair a bit messy, her eyes reddened. "cyber!" she panted "are you ok?!" she ran up to the other and fell on her back grabbing her from behind.
cyber was a moment realizing what happened, the shock of lir adrenaline burst and frustration turned to suprise and the sudden grasp from behind. "yuki! what are you doing here?" cyber was embarased for some reason and felt like lal had been caught doing something wrong. "i don't know how to explain it... but i just... felt your distress and knew where you were, and came as fast as i could." yuki said nuzzling her tear streaked face into cybers firm back.
yolo interupted the two "you 'felt' lir distress? "
yuki let go of cyber and kneeled behind lir letting cyber turn to look at her. nodding "ya, if i had to put it into words it was like a sharp pain, and a flood of feelings kind of like how when we didn't have bodies. i just knew and felt it. and my body reacted on it's own, following the path to bring me to lal. to you cyber. i don't know if it is because that sharing we had before, or something else. but i don't think that way about you. you have been like a light for me since we met. and i want to be with you more."
cyber didn't understand everything that yuki had said, lir mental state not having returned to baseline. but what lal did understand is yuki's feelings for lir had somehow connected them, and lir own feelings had gotten through without words without even seeing eachother. lal pulled yuki toward lir and put her head on lir chest petting her hair softly. "im sorry i made you worry." yolo sat cross legged near the center of the room.
"you two really are a handful." he said smiling, and scratching the back of his head.
"still if that is something that all of us have it might be inconvienent, so i hope it's more like 'the power of love' or something stupid like that." cyber glared at him "love isn't stupid, stupid".
"look, im sorry. i probably made things more complicated than they needed to be. Also i feel like i need to get this off my chest. Yuki, i have for a long time had a dim view toward you in the way you acted, part of me had wondered if you were a pedophile or predator. " he said it as matter of factly as he could, not bringing his eyes up to meet yuki's "i'm sorry i had those feelings, but it's how i felt. i distanced myself from them by thinking things like it doesn't have anything to do with me, or that if i saw something that was over some arbitrary boundary in my mind i would do something. i never accepted you for how you portaied yourself, my mental image always clouded that. when we were unembodied and i felt your emotions i began to see that i was wrong, and seeing you now... well i think it suits who you are inside much better than what i thought about you before." yolo appologized finally looking up from the ground at yuki, who was staring at him intently with bright purple eyes.
"thanks for being honest yolo. to be honest there are times i feel similarly. like 'what am i doing?' the truth is i have not been able to grow up my whole life. i had been stuck pretending to wise and experianced, when really i was just hurt repeatedly. i have been on earth twice as many years as you cyber... more than that. but i have lived so much less. this puts my heart in conflict. the cognative understanding that i have seen more days, and experianced more things. along with these long established cultural norms in my brain. im afraid what people back home would say, even though i know that doesn't matter here." yuki looked deeply into cybers dark green eyes.
"you really are dumb yuki" cyber said then leaned in and kissed yuki. yuki accepted the moment and returned the kiss. they broke off and cyber continued with her face still close to yuki's. "if anyone is going to be called a pedophile in this situation, it's going to be me." lal said with a laugh.
yolo sighed "ya... to be honest it does look that way from where im sitting" yuki became slightly embarassed, remembering that yolo was there with them. "jeez can't you give us some privacy yolo!" cyber protested with a smirk.
"you... are... in... my... room..." yolo dragging each word. then laughed. "well, you two should go back to your room. we have a bunch of shit to do tomorrow apparently." yuki and cyber looked at eachother and nodded. yuki got up and offered to help cyber up, but nearly fell over in the attempt.
"good night yolo." the two said at the door.
"ya ya, just try to get some sleep." he said half joking as they shut the door behind them, cyber giving a final glare at his comment.
for some reason he was actually accepting this situation. seeing their kiss it clicked in a way he didn't think it would. yuki was so vulerable to that attack. his heart stirred with the protective feelings he had when he first saw them in the void space before he got this body.
looking at himself his hands were so large compared to either of theirs. he could see the strength in them.
he recalled how fast his body had moved reacting to the cushion, and how much force he used, and it seemed like nothing. He wondered how strong he was. he took a wide stance, and threw a left hand strike with as much force as he could into the air. he could feel the air resist his motion and heat build on his fist, as the strike reached the full extention, there was a loud crack and the air in the room became turbulent his hair pulled into the vacuum his fist had created and the far wall shoock with the force of the air hitting it, being projected from his fist. "holy shit" was all he could manage. looking at his hand again steam wisping from his knuckles.
yuki and cyber had pulled their futons next to eachother and were laying together.
"when you left me here i was kinda grateful you gave me the space cyber. but i felt bad. i didn't want to hurt you." yuki was staring up at the ceiling. "i did feel hurt. you had always been honest with me about what you were thinking, so seeing you close off like that, felt like you were rejecting me. like you wanted to distance yourself from me." cyber was glad they were having this conversation, but remembering how lal felt brought the emotions back.
"i know, and to be honest, that's what i was doing. not rejecting you, but rejecting the situation, because of my lack of confidence. I don't want to have regrets either you know. but most of my regrets come from things i have done, rather than from things i haven't done. there's only one real regret for things i hadn't done, from which everything else stems. i have made many mistakes compounding on that first mistake of inaction."
"it's easier to live with regrets of action i think. if you do something and try your best, then at least you know that. but if you sit and do nothing, then you might always wonder what could have been." cyber said. yuki turned toward cyber who had been looking at the small girl the whole time.
"you are really pretty cyber." and she closed the gap between them and kissed lir.
"i hope im more than just a pretty face to you" lal said after the kiss, a smile on lir lips. pushing yuki down face up on the futon and straddling her. "of course you're more than a pretty face." yuki said nerviously in this vulnerable possition... "oh ya?" cyber breathed bringing her mouth close to yuki's neck. yuki felt the hot breath on her neck and the sensation sent sparks down her back, the hairs standing on end. she raised her right knee impusivly and it pressed into cyber's groin. lal gasped at the touch not expected. yuki quickly lowered her knee realizing what she just did and turned her head exposeing the neck further which cyber had already been grazing. cyber licked the little girls neck and yuki's head began to feel hazy. "too much" she protested. "do you really mean that?" cyber asked seriously pulling away resting lir weight on her arms and knees, rather than more on the other's body as lal had been doing previously.
"i know just recoginzing you have a problem and wanting to confront it might not be enough to actually fix it. so, if you need time, i want to give it to you. i don't want to go too far. that's what i worried about most already." cyber wanted to go further. lal wanted to do everything, to have everything done unto lir. it was almost killing lir. lir curiousity about how lal could make lir partner feel. what sensations lal could illicit, how she tasted, and felt. every corner of her body and mind a new feature to discover to explore. but more important than any of that, lal wanted to respect lir friend's pace. she lacked an essential confidence, that she needed, and violating her boundaries would only make things worse.
"i've never felt like this before, being the object of someone elses desire and passion. it feels like i might lose myself." yuki explained. she pulled herself up into a sitting possition from under cyber. "maybe.. if we reverse roles for a little." she offered. "ok that's fine with me." cyber said satisfied with that.
"tell me if you want me to stop." yuki said looking at her friend seriously. "you don't need to worry about that" lal replied, almost rolling lir eyes at the thought of it going further than lal could be confortable with, lal wanted to do everything after all. "please promise me you will tell me anyway, im kinda dumb when it comes to subtlety and need to be told directly, and i want to know you will tell me." yuki was resolute in her request.
"i promise." cyber said seriously meeting yuki's eyes, seeing how important she considered it.
"thank you" yuki let out a deep sigh. "so how do you want me?" cyber asked, the idea of presenting lirself as if on a platter crossed lir mind. "just like that" yuki and cyber were face to face, sitting on their legs in a seiza like position. yuki brought her hand up and touched cybers cheek softly. looking closely at the place where she touched. she could feel the small changes in the skin, it's smoothness, the soft nearly invisible hairs reacting slightly to her touch. cyber closed lir eyes and a small smile graced the corner of lir mouth. yuki ran the tips of her fingers, down lir neck and forward toward lir chest, which was wrapped in an evening robe. she tugged slightly at the garment, then pressed her hand firmly to feel through it the other's heart. she could feel the breathing deep and reacting to her touch and heart beating strong and quick. "you have a strong heart" she said. the other chuckled at the comment. yuki was observing everything. the small movements of her companion. she slipped her hand into the robe and touched the bare skin of lir chest with the slightest caress of her observant delecate fingertips. she followed the touch down pulling the robe open against the tightness of the tie. seeing it wouldn't budge she removed her hand and undid the tie and opened the robe exposing cyber's chest and middrift. cyber's body didn't have all the softness of a girls, nor all the hardness of a boys, but a soft blending of each. yuki put her hand on cybers navel, then slipped it right and upwards, feeling the curves of the tight muscles under the thin skin. upwards toward lir arm feeling where the ribs began then forward toward lir small breast. there was not much fat there, but more than elsewhere on lir slim frame. yuki noticed she had been holding her breath and exhaled deeply before brushing her fingers across the other's nipple. cyber reacted sharply to the sensation that flowwed from the touch, down toward lir groin, lir member rousing sharply almost painfully from the touch.
"sorry" yuki responded pulling her hand back quickly. cyber shook lir head. "no it feels nice." opening lir eyes to see lir love breathing hard. "i started this and like it. there are just... things that are new about it, not just that it's another person, but.." lal looked down and gestured "it looks like you woke something up down there". yuki couldn't see but knew what lal meant. lal took yuki's hand in lir's and placed it on the region, having her feel lir hardness through lir hakama. yuki's redness deepened and her hand felt for the edges of cyber's member. it was larger than her hand but not by too much she guessed. she moved her hands toward the top of the hakama as to pull it down "i think it might be easier if i do that" cyber said adding "if that's ok" yuki could only give one sharp nod.
cyber undid the tie of lir hakama, and stood using the robe to keep lirself covered for now, dropped the bottoms, and stepped back out of them and swept it aside with lir foot, then returned to lir previous position.
yuki pulled the robe aside and looked at cyber's body and it's member standing proud and uncut. nipples erect on small mounds
cyber's face began to redden and lal looked away. "are you just going to stare?" lal said. the response was a sensation of wet warmth on lir right nipple. "ah" cyber gasped. yuki pressed lal back and onto the small of lir back, lir feet twisting forward, and supporting lirself somewhat upright with lir arms. "lay down" yuki said breifly pausing from licking cyber's nipple. "as queen orders" cyber chided with a smirk.
"the miko said 'everything works' right?" yuki said before surrounding cyber's nipple again with her lips.
"ha, ah.. yes... that's.. what she.. said" cyber had a hard time getting the words out.
yuki used her hand to explore cyber's body, while tending lir nipple with her tounge and teeth, with small nibbles and licks. slowly she made her way through the small growth of thin pubic hair and toward lir penis giving it a tender touch feeling it's warmth, in her small hand.
"if everything means everything" she continued the thought and simultainiously moved her hand further down, towards the base of the back of cybers penis, where it met with lir's labia majora
"does that mean you could get yourself pregnant?" yuki finished her question.
the mass of sensations cyber was feeling prevented lir from answering right away. lal hadn't thought about it yet, but could only guess that lal could. "why do you have to make this weird?" lal finally got the words out.
"just somthing that i thought. sorry if it made it too weird." yuki said pulling up toward her lover's face and givving lir a kiss. "no it's not. you might be right tho. altho it probably isn't somthing i need to worry about, less i tried to get anything in there, it's not likely to happen on accident. probably." cyber said. lir curiosity was somewhat peaked by the idea, but there's no way lal wanted to just 'try it' just to see.
"well i think, im ready for your turn now..." yuki said softly.
"if you don't want to i don't want to press further." cyber offered, but lir eyes and face couldn't hide lir excitement. "well, i don't know if im ready for.. " she looked down at cyber's penis "that... i think it might break me..." yuki added. "just as far as you are willing then." cyber said proping lirself up. "do you want me to disrobe? or.." yuki was clearly nervous. "just the bottoms, like me." cyber said. "ok" yuki stood up and turned away from cyber and undid her bottom tie and dropped it to the floor and before she could turn around cyber lifted the back of the short girl's robe revealing her butt and the small of her back. "cute" lal said grabbing one of the small cheeks and yuki let out a small 'eep' turning around quickly slight dissatisfaction on her face. "sorry, i couldn't help myself." cyber appologized. "you really are adorable"
yuki grumbled slightly then smiled. sitting herself down in a seiza position again. "lay down, my little princess." cyber lusted and yuki obliged. "be gentle" she said and cyber nodded lir response looking at the small tender frame of lir friend, lover. lal opened the robe to see the body of her love. small, no pubic hair on her pubic mons at all, nor any breasts to speak of. tiny nipples hard on the slender frame. lal wanted to just dive into that body and consume it, but seeing how yuki had taken her time starting slowly lal decided to put the thought away. this had to be about a compromise between their desires, and lal had to be cognizant of yuki's apprehension. cyber threw off lir robe and then brought lir own body above yuki's kissing her stomache softly, then moving up with small kisses up her chest avoiding the nipples for now. cyber kissed every part of yuki's torso, stomach, chest, then up to her neck. Yuki was breathing hard, almost with pain. cyber brought lir mouth to yuki's which had been hanging open in labored breath kissing her deeply.
while kissing their tongues exploring, lal moved lir hand down the slender body and finally made it's way toward the erect nipple. a shock pulsed through the youths body, and cyber smiled at the reaction.
lal broke away from the kiss, then down toward the other nipple with lir mouth.
lal didn't think it was as satisfying as it would be when yuki developed breasts of her own, but the reactions lir teasing pulled from yuki were satisfying on their own. yuki's body felt like fire and it was all she could do to not melt away into bliss. she focused on what she was feeling memorizing each new sensation.
cyber pulled lir hand down and made lir way toward yuki's thighs. for such a small frame her thighs were comparatively plump, and so silky. cyber moved lir hand then toward's the crotch, and yuki after some hesitation obliged by spreading her legs appart, inviting cyber to explore.
"you think there are cigarettes in this world" yuki said her head nuzzled against cybers breast, the two laying nude together, both of them glistening slightly with persperation.
"i have no idea... but i never smoked at all, so for me i don't really care." cyber replied still in afterglow from their mutual performance. "i picked it up a few years ago. not really something i'd suggest, but the nicotine's forcful relaxation would be nice right now..." yuki explained. "well i guess a cigarette after sex became a meme for some reason, so makes some sense. i don't think i'd mind, but if there are any here, it'll have to wait for next time." lal offered. "no i don't really want to repeat that if i can help it. plus it might be strange for a little girl to be smoking here anyway."
"you really have a lot of hangups about how others see you." cyber said flatly not really a judgement, more an observation.
"ya, you aren't wrong. it's hard to just accept what i want and do it. i've always been afraid of being judged or hurt for being myself."
"most people don't care about other people and how they live. some people do obviously, and they will mock you or try to change you. but those people aren't worth listening to. they don't really care about you, they just want to enforce their own worldview on others, so if it's not you for this or that, it's going to be someone else for something else. always looking for something to be upset about. those kind of people... " cyber was making lirself upset thinking about it, and cleared lir mind with a deep breath.
"i think i may have just lived a long time around those kind of people and built my own version of them inside my head. so i can always hear their complaints. "
"i hear you. i think you can move past it, but i don't think it's something that will happen fast. i wish i could take that voice and silence it for you." cyber's hand on yuki's arm caressed her.
"i know love." yuki blushed. "i think this is the most at peace i've ever felt."
"it really is peaceful. who knows about tomorrow... right now, i don't know if ive ever been happier."
"i know i haven't. i almost feel bad about how happy i am" yuki gripped cyber in warm tight embrace.
"well lets focus on those kinds of feelings, and drive away the bad ones. one day at a time." cyber replied.
"goodnight hammy" "goodnight hime sama"