That the computer as a class of tools is the most important single invention humans ever made is a bit of an understatement, of course to make that statement must include the internet as an extension of "The computer". I don't particularly think that is much of a leap. But it stands to reason that the computer itself is nothing but an external extension of the mind. An individual is but a single cell in the human organism, thus the internet is just an electron mind of the human spirit. That really is quite obvious. I don't think anyone could or would ever disagree. Not really sure how to start doing anything useful or meaningful... The idea of writing seems like it would or should be a decent fit, but I feel like everything I have to say has been said already by other people. And sure maybe some of the thoughts I have might be interesting to people who haven't seen the sources, that still doesn't inspire me to do it... Maybe the problem is just that... Of course novelty is something I like, but also it's pretty obvious that anything I know is going to be something that seems obvious to me... There are always kids who haven't read or watched the things I have. I have like literally 30 years of consumption on someone just being born. That gives me a wealth of knowledge that they don't have. Not that it's meaningful or useful for anything.... Ugh. See that's another problem, no writer has ever changed the world for good. Not one. Changed the world? Sure. In many many ways, but none of them made anything better. Better is a loaded word of course. Writing wasn't invented to make things better, it was invented to keep track of taxes and trade. We have just gotten to the point where the information itself is something worth trading for to people. It's become more abstract, less numerical. In the end even these statements are just hyper abstracted transaction details folded together into a protein that I don't directly recognize as transaction details. This isn't novel. This isn't a new concept. This is obvious. If you don't think so than you haven't been paying attention. Or more realistically and less offensively - the chain of consequence of your life has taken hasn't directed you to come to a direct realization of this particular truth. Your name is a number. You never were anything other than a number. How long should I stay out here? There is more that I want to say, there is more that I want to do and being here is more "Productive" than being at home... There are less distractions here. But my girlfriend will be awake by now, and she will want me to have made her something to eat I'm sure. But I'm not there, failing my wifely duties. The morning is the best time to leave the home and come out here tho, it's cooler, there's less people. The afternoon already sees so many people around. That's not my style. I have outcast myself to this lonely place on the top of a hill to get away from all the people who I prefer not to see... I prefer not to be seen by. I write these words without even really giving the any kind of consideration to if this sentence follows from the previous or would make any amount of sense to someone reading it. It's obvious to me that's how writing should be, or that's the most pure form of it. A way of mentally transmitting an undigested chain of thoughts from one mind to another in the unadulterated form. But maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe I don't even believe that. I have become aware of my status as a thing that doesn't really exist. I am the amalgamation of the ways people see me. So by being here, by writing in this place I am becoming in the minds of more people a writer. By using this minimal device in a place where people can recognize it as such I am becoming to the universe the kind of person who would use such a device. And the device does have a "Kind of person who would use it". Isn't that obvious? It's the nu-neocortex branded boox, it doesn't just align itself as a psychic thought to anyone. After all. Tho potentially anyone could /purchase/ it not anyone would. There was this comment on an AMV "This is the kind of video only a true anime fan would get the humor of." Or something like that... While that's true it's also redundant. What other person would even have clicked on the video? Certainly not anyone except those interested in anime in the first place. Only to those who have anime in there heart would the video even appear to be humorous to. That's the kind of world we live in. Where spirits are real and relegated to the domain of boxes and screens, and to commune with spirits is to just spend time watching youtube. The world has become baren and sterile and the spirits have become quiet in the world, and we pretend that those spirits are little more than configurations of magnetic patterns on disk or plastic. What are we but little more than bits of meat and fat that thinks itself heir to the universe? _________________ 煩い дурдом везде Coming outside in the day has it's downsides. The weekend is especially terrible. There are so many damn cars, motorcycles, loud things whose sole aim it seems is to cause a distressing amount of noise. Better I suppose than the suppressing aura of mediocrity I normally surround myself with I suppose. I know that my lifestyle isn't in line with my own desires, but it's so draining that I'm unable to find the energy to change it, more I'm lacking the motivations needed to do anything more because I don't see any possible outcome where the changes are sufficient. Scorched earth, tabula rasa, blank slate. That's what I crave. But knowing myself and my habits that still would accomplish nothing. I am a slave to my habits. My environment is a part of me, it's inside me as clearly as anything. The neural pathways that define me that cause me to construct my nest in the manner I do are just as physical as the nest itself, burning it all down would require burning my body to ash as well. _________ I wanted to wait a bit to have Yuki verify the next day that the shrine wasn't there. I suppose I can just push that back and have it later in the day, or something. having the 異世界 happen without something being more otherworldly happen feels out of place to me. I feel like I need to have the first scene with Yuki, then, lal, then Yuki, then maybe Yolokunsimp. That feels like it might be better. Having Yolokunsimp be the POV character for the 異世界 event feels good. Probably. I hate my fucking body's impulses. Like why's it gotta feel like "Oh, you feel some bubbling in your stomach" or "There's a hint of nausea, you know in case you are wondering" I'm not. Leave me alone. The act of typing feels harder than normal. Is this because I've entered a new time plane where everything is just a little bit heavier. Is that why I have felt this way? Or is it some kind of debuff? I had been smoking like 8 to 16 cigarettes every day until it hit me like a pile of bricks. I could barely breathe. It was suffocating pain. I figured it was because the smoking. I mean of course it could have been covid as my mom is quick to point out. I hate letting her know I'm sick because I feel I have a pretty good understanding of what I can bare and a moment to moment understanding of how bad it is and getting and when I'm on the upside. If it got bad enough I thought I needed to go to hospital I'd have said something, but I suppose there's always the chance that it'd hit harder and faster than I could react to. Hasn't happened yet, but I suppose it only takes once. Anyway I'm still not to 100% if the weight of these keys is any indication. If my windedness after climbing some stairs echo's the same. But I wanted to get out of the house. I hadn't for several days. I want to breathe this open air. And smoke a cigarette. The headache has been the worst. Pressure headache from coughing too much, my whole body had been aching from the flexing of those core muscles so rarely used for much more than sitting. Does that use muscles really? Probably not. The cig is spicy and my tolerance is back to nothing. The one cigarette barely smoked but nearly burnt out already. I still am pretty fucked up from being sick or whatever this was. And my head is swimming and slightly dizzy, less from the cigarette and more from shallow breath. For some reason when I'm at home before I want to go for a ride I can look in my body and be like "Hey it's time to go shit and piss if I have to" and it's like "Nah dog, we fine." but as soon as I get here, and off my bike my body's all "Hey fyi, it might be time to take a shit." and I'm like "You fucking worthless piece of trash. This is literally why I asked before I left" Infuriating. And so here I am trying to write regardless, because I want to have the habit of writing and because I haven't had presence of mind to write the past several days. But my stomach is inching closer and closer to to existential threat of shitting here where I sit hurrying my activity and counting down the time. Why do bodies suck so damn much? Why is it I'm so fucking unhealthy? What can I change to make things better? I don't fucking know. I have been raised in a world where all the lessons are taught by people who are invested in some way by personal gain and monetary reward. The very basis of our understanding of the world is colored by profit motive. How the fuck is it possible to learn anything worthwhile in this situation? -- some interjector from the year of hindsight 3 of 2011? I think Food is profit motive too ya know. Food tasty nom nom. Nyaa We like the cold outside mhmm. We don't like when too hot at all. How did we get to be this old and not know that? This old? What's that? A food? Mental regression to size of cat nyaa. Difficult. It takes circle. .. A Djic Io We are constantly needing to fucking check ourselves for this bullshit virus. Wasting our time. The covid metaphor became pretty prevalent pretty fast. It was like full speed ahead. So. The daemon Disk and execution monitor. Disk And Execution MONitor Doesn't seem right. Fishy. D A E M O N Have you been watching demon slayer? It's cold huh? It's a bit cold. So demons only fight in darkness? What about this? Is it bright yet? And they are like 'no, it's very very dark here. There's no light at all in fact.' Can you feel? Can you feel that hybrid rainbow? I'm just a broken mash up. Galli U s It's a bit cold now. And the wind is moving pretty fast. It's what 11:20 pm quite late I guess by normal human standards for being outside. Maybe being out at night was a contributing factor as to why I started feeling sick. Idk. I don't really know much of anything. It's basically impossible to know. There's so much possibility that the lines of cause and effect all get blurred. It's annoying. I think it's an understandable annoyance to most people, or rather I think most people rely on a kind of fuzzy cause and effect that they always assume to be present. There are those whose rigor proves to them the instability of that foundation, and for those people this situation must be most annoying. It is a steadfastness to the principles of cause and effect which demonstrate it's failures and only after such profound strict adherence, worship, does it begin to fail. Embarrassing. Cringe. But the fact remains that there is basically nothing known, nor any clear definable cause of any effect. Things might be said to have arisen from prior conditions and some outcomes determinable from the present, but still. My throat feels like it's got something stuck in it. And I don't like it. I keep trying to cough to drag that thing out but to no avail. It's possible that there isn't a thing, it's just that my coughing has irritated my throat to the point of it sending signals which I mistake for there being something there. Annoying. And I have no real way to know. That's the most annoying part. And so I still cough and scrap and gurgle noises and breath at various vibratory frequencies in the effort that this time that sensation will be cleared. But it doesn't. Nor do I have hope that it will. My body just reacts seemingly according to the stimulus. Or is the stimulus a post-hoc lie that my body invents to explain away the behavior, which it is doing for altogether different reasons, perhaps a betting pool on horses in Europe somewhere? I heard a claim that smokers were less likely to get covid19. You think that's true? .