pocket change



She held out a dime in her left hand arm fully stretched out to her side between index and middle finger. I saw the gesture, then turned to grab my bag at my feet. Lifted it and swung the strap around my neck, pretending to have just been preoccupied to the point of not even having noticed it. But I did notice. It just bothered me. I didn't have much money, but the idea of taking the dime or of her offering a dime it just filled me with a deep resentment. Pride, insult. It was a belittling gesture. For her a dime was very little. She had much more that she could spare. and for me, tho I had scarce any money at all, it didn't even seem worth the effort it would take to grab it. It didn't seem worth the annoyance of needing to deal with the physicality of the coin in my pocket, or the eventual annoyance of actually using the coin in some hypothetical purchase. I can't say I knew her intention with the gesture. But it felt like she didn't want to deal with the annoyance of the coin herself. A projection of my own on the situation to be sure. Perhaps she really intended it in some good faith way. After having held the coin aloft for several moments she sighed then put it back into her own pocket then crossed the street. I followed after, needing to jog to keep pace then suddenly was hit by a semi on the far side of the road. .

incoming references

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